Forgive

"Forgive, but don't forget."

I'm pretty sure that most of us have heard of this quote before. Everybody goes around saying that. And I took these words inside me, I did. When someone did me wrong, I tried my best to forgive them. Sometimes it's easy, when there's not much at stake. Sometimes, it's just, HARD. 

Forgiving itself is hard, I know. But to fix things up, forgiving becomes necessary. But again now, back the quote, how about forgetting? 

It's a question that haunts me a few years back. I can forgive people who did wrong to me, but I can't forget what they did. I keep doing that, over and over, and over again until I met a friend. That friend of mine told me, "Forgiving without forgetting is bullshit." There. She said that. It was simple, but it hits me straightaway.

When someone did wrong to you, and you decide to forgive them, it means you're letting go. It means it's over. It means that there are no hard feelings left inside. It means that everything is the way it was. That is what forgiving is all about. When you don't forget, the next time they did something wrong, you'll remember every bit of trouble they caused you. It's piling inside, just ready to explode. Trust me, been there, done that. And it's not healthy. You're just causing more trouble for yourself. It's you who's suffering from all the mental breakdowns, not them. And honestly, it's not worth it.

Forgetting, it's not necessarily hard to do. Might be, at first. But trust me, when you're finally able to, there's no bigger relief. It's like having a burden taken away from you. And it feels good. 

Well that's one point I'm pointing out here. But I actually have two issues. The second one, I'm not sure how many of you guys have felt this. I've just realized this recently as I came across things in my uni life. Forgiving others, it's very much spoken about, don't you think? But what about, forgiving yourself?

I've had moments, moments where I regret things I did. Moments where I feel like I'm such an idiot for, well, whatever mistake I have done. I wish I did that, or I wish that I hadn't done that. And when it's stucked in my head, it's just screwing me up. And it cracked me apart. It did.

It was a hard time, and I struggle. I told my mom about it, about everything. It's just tearing me apart, and she sees that. And after all my superbly long story of how everything went, she said, "Forgive yourself, and move on." And I thought, well, that is so true. The reason why it's bothering me all these time, is because I can't forgive myself. And thinking about it now, it seems so stupid. Well, life couldn't be "oh so perfect" afterall. So, there's really no point in having that mental breakdown moment. I make mistakes, in the past. Yes I did. But so what? I can't do anything about it now, it's not like I can turn back time or anything.

All that's left to do, is again, LEARN. Learn from your mistakes! That's like my lifetime motto haha. But doing all those mistakes, it gives me a chance to learn, and be a better person. And in some ways, share it to others, like you guys, to avoid you from doing my stupid mistakes. Or to give you some sort of idea how to handle it when it's you facing the problem now.

Well, that's the end of it now. I hope this helps, and I hope that when you guys forgive, you'll also remember to forget. And when it's you doing the mistake, don't be so harsh on yourself ;)

It's over, everything is. 

All that's left to do is forgive yourself, move on, 

and be a better person.

:))